Crosses to Bear
by Evening Falls
Summary: Dealing with the burdens and pain of losing your loved ones can be a cross to bear. Inspired by a fan art drawing I created a few days ago. This has some fluff in it. If you're a Eren x Levi fan, this is for you! /art/A-Cross-To-Bear-Eren-x-Levi-Fan-art-412921721


This didn't take me long to write. I hope you enjoy. Love Evening Falls

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As the warm, golden sun began to sink in the horizon, Lance Corporal Levi Rivaille silently stood motionless, staring into the vast field of sweet smelling white flowers and unmarked and nameless crosses. These crosses stood tiredly, lit softly by the sunlight's orange glow, their dark shadows extending across the mass of white. They were dark and sinister symbols. There were just too many for Levi to count. They stretched right to the very edge of the horizon. These grim reminders… no that's not what he called them. These landmarks were the markers where his deceased comrades lay buried. He lost so many of his friends.

Levi touched a particularly worn ebony cross next to him, running his calloused finger tips from years of training against the rough splintering wood.

How many years has it been? How many years has he walked alone?

Levi should have been prepared for it. Before joining the survey corps, he lived alone. He grew up alone and lived the life of a street bandit, cold and merciless. This cold front was something he developed overtime, due to the crimes he committed in his youth. When he joined the recon corps, Levi did not let that cold exterior fall. He tried not to appear weak in front of his subordinates and comrades. There were at times when Levi showed emotion but that was different. He often experienced the thrill in killing Titans, especially during the capture of the female Titan. Levi chuckled to himself but without humour at the fading memory.

… So then, why did the empty feeling of loneliness and fear wrench deep within him and after all the years of being alone? Never before did Levi feel so isolated and vulnerable in his life.

Levi rubbed the base of his throat, feeling an uncomfortable sensation form there as he trenched through the white flowers. Every step he took, the sweet aroma filled his nostrils to the point it was sickening. He didn't understand how something as beautiful and pure as these while flowers could grow where death existed.

At last, he came to the cross he sought. The same thing kept urging him back to this morbid and lonely place. Recent and the only one marked, standing tall and upright, the king of its realm. The plaque which name it bore made the desolation and grief dig deeper within Levi's soul, a name which would forever be embedded within him: Eren Jaeger.

He had visited Eren's grave countless times, yet whenever he came back the more painful it would be for him. This boy, a mere young man of fifteen… he died so young. Hot headed and impulsive, strong-minded with a determination to protect mankind but most of all, he held a fierce desire for revenge; revenge against the Titan who had killed his mother… against all Titans.

Levi smiled at the memories. That boy was certainly an idiot… and at first, he thought he was a threat to man due to his abilities to turn into a Titan. He was mistaken. Eren had proved to be an asset to the Recon corps, displaying perseverance and strength to the point it would endanger his very life.

However, even strong young warriors like Eren had breaking points. He pushed himself too far… and it was all because of him. Levi had allowed Eren to protect the wall, surrounding their frightened town… but it was all in vain. Eren had saved everyone but it cost him his very life. He was stubborn and Levi simply allowed Eren to continue, knowing the dire consequences if Eren were to stay in Titan form for too long. Now he lay deep beneath the moist soil below his very feet.

Levi's facial expression was expressionless yet his emotions were in utter turmoil.

"Why did it have come to this?" Levi thought out-loud.

He pressed his forehead against the cold, smooth and unwelcoming surface of the plaque, gradually letting himself fall into a kneeling position. He closed his eyes, letting the darkness behind his eyelids consume him and heaved a sigh.

"You idiot… You idiotic brat…"

Levi reopened his eyes only to find his vision clouded for a brief moment then fall softly to the white of the flower petals. He stared at the crystalline drops that lay on the petals, glistening softly in dim lighting of the evening, confused and bewildered.

Something wet and heated trickled down his cheeks and he touched them. They were tears.

Something deep inside his chest burst painfully. All at once, the pain, unhappiness and isolation overcame his entire being. No longer could the Lance corporal hold back the tears he had kept locked away for years. He had never cried so hard in his life, the silence filled with his cries of anguish and his desperate please for forgiveness.

It seemed like an eternity when Levi's crying had been reduced to silent tears. He had let his body fall to the comfort of the white flowers. They were soft and surprisingly very warm from the intense heat of the day. Just like a scented bed mattress, the aroma soothed him somewhat. His tears fogged his sight but at that moment, he did not care. He just wanted to lie there and disappear. Disappear into nothing and cease to exist in order to rid of this horrible lonely ache within him.

Something cool brushed the back of his neck. Not an unwelcoming sensation, but like a soft gust of wind it alerted Levi's attention.

"Don't cry Sir. Please don't cry. I don't want to see you sad"

'That voice, so distinguishable, it couldn't possibly be Eren?"

Levi lifted his head and felt his heart stop, his breath catching.

Eren Jaeger knelt before him kindly stroking his head, as a mother would do to a sleeping child. Eren's deep green eyes was subdued but filled with a tenderness Levi didn't even know existed… but his body. Eren was completely transparent. Levi could see right through him. The most beautiful white wings a glow in a silvery light, protruded from his back.

Levi grimaced and threw a fist in Eren's gut, winding the angel slightly.

"You idiot! You stupid brat!"

Levi screamed, continuing to aim feeble punches at the boy before him. The tears would not stop flowing much to Levi's embarrassment and anger. There he was, showing emotion to the very boy he thought he would never see again.

Eren drew the corporal within his arms, one hand still stroking the corporal's hair, engulfing his trembling body with his wings. He too allowed his own tears to fall from his eyes once he felt Levi grasp his arm in desperation. The wings were softer than anything Levi had ever touched. They were thicker than fleece but the feathers were light to the touch and swamped his frigid body in warmth.

"Forgive me Eren… Please forgive me. I beg you!"

Levi couldn't keep track of his own words. All this emotion was pouring out from his very heart.

Eren pressed his face to the Corporal's hair.

"There's nothing to forgive Sir. I don't blame you. So please sir, don't cry any more".

Levi didn't know how long he was held for but he didn't care. Eren didn't blame him for his death. That was all that mattered to him.

"We don't blame you sir. Petra, your squad… everyone. We don't blame you. You are our Lance Corporal, our leader. You have to be strong sir. The remaining still need you sir"

"… I can't… I can't do this on my own. I don't want to be alone!" Levi cried, fear overwhelming him.

Before his eyes, memories of his friends' deaths flashed before him, Petra's body in that horrible warped position against that tree, her body a lifeless husk and the rest of his entire squad dead before his entire eyes. For the first time in his life, the death of others had shaken him to the point he could no longer think or cope with his emotions.

"You won't be alone. I'll be watching over you. We all will. Everyone will"

"That's not the same you stupid brat!"

Eren sighed.

"I know… but no matter what happens from here on now, I will always be with you. Right here Sir. You kept us strong, so now it's time to return the favour. I'll be right here"

Eren gently placed his hand on Levi's heart, which Levi grasped tightly in return.

"We have faith in you. You must keep going and fight. Can you do that sir?" Eren asked.

Levi drew in a deep shaky breath but gained his composure once more. He once again put on his note worthy scowl, yet his eyes read sorrow.

"I promise Eren, as your Lance Corporal"

Eren grinned then his facial expression softened.

"I have to leave now. You had better keep your promise Sir. I kept mine!"

Eren's body began to radiate a soft white light, which steadily grew brighter each passing second.

"No wait! Eren don't leave yet! I need you! Please"

In a desperate attempt, Levi tried to grab his arm once more only to discover that his hand went right through him. He watched horrified as Eren's smiling face was gradually fading into the bright light.

"Please don't go!"

"Keep your promise … Levi"

With a blinding flash, Levi was left alone in the star lit and silent graveyard. Alone once more, Levi's tears continued to flow. However, he felt relief within him. Something he had not felt in a long time. With a new hope within him, he crawled towards Eren's plaque and kissed it.

"I promise Eren Jaeger"

Using Eren's cross as a support, he hoisted himself up unsteadily and breathed in the cool night air. He gazed into the now ink black sky, speckled with stars and saluted the cross.

"I promise Eren. I Lance Corporal Levi Revialle will continue where I left off. I will form a new group. I will defend humanity from the Titans. I will do all these things until the day where I can finally be put to rest". He swore.

Levi turned his head back to the stars the brightest one was like a diamond, standing amongst all the others.

"It's better to keep on living. Right Eren?" Levi asked gently.

The stars seemed to sparkle brighter in agreement… but the largest star, the most beautiful one above him. The one that he knew would continue to guide him through the harsh times that were to come shone brighter.

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And that's it. Hope you like it! Man I have to get to bed earlier than 11:30. I have a 9am class presentation tomorrow! (Evening Falls)


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